Finding the Right School: Navigating the Options for Our Family

By Abbie Long, Co-Founder of Otters Home Search

As a home search consultant, I spend my professional life helping families figure out not just where they want to live—but how they want to live. And one of the biggest drivers behind those decisions? Schools.

Recently, we found ourselves in the same situation as many of our clients: exploring the maze of school choices across the UK for our own children. What began as a practical exercise quickly became something much more personal. We weren’t just researching schools—we were trying to understand what kind of childhood, education, and rhythm of life would best support our family.

We looked at everything: state, private, day, and boarding schools. Each option brought new questions, thoughtful conversations, and sometimes, surprising insights.

Starting with the Big Picture

From the outset, we knew this wasn't going to be a one-size-fits-all decision. Our children are different, and so is the way each of them approaches learning, friendships, and independence.

So we stepped back and asked: what really matters? Is it academic performance? Room to grow? Pastoral care? Flexibility for family life?

Like so many parents, we wanted it all—rigour and warmth, structure and creativity, challenge and care. And to some extent, we discovered it’s not about choosing between these values, but finding the environment that blends them in the right proportions for your child.

State Schools: Strong Community Roots

The state schools we visited had a lot going for them—diversity, community spirit, and a sense of groundedness. We appreciated the energy, and many were academically strong too.

Of course, there are practical considerations—catchment areas, application deadlines, and competition for places can be intense. But for families who are settled and aligned with a school’s ethos, this can be a wonderful route.

Independent Day Schools: A Rich, Balanced Offering

The breadth and individuality of private day schools really stood out. These schools are often highly attuned to each child’s interests and needs, offering a blend of strong academics, broad extracurriculars, and impressive pastoral care.

We visited schools that truly felt like communities—with dedicated staff, small class sizes, and space for both achievement and joy. What we found especially appealing was the range of options: some leaned into tradition and academic excellence, while others focused more on creativity, outdoor learning, or student-led initiatives.

Private day schools can also offer families the best of both worlds: structure and enrichment during the day, with family time in the evenings. For many, that’s exactly the balance they’re after.

Boarding Schools: Structure and Independence

When we began looking into boarding schools—particularly the weekly and flexi models—we found ourselves reconsidering long-held assumptions. These schools offered a real sense of rhythm and independence, with a home-from-home feel we hadn’t quite expected.

Students had time to focus, build strong friendships, and immerse themselves in school life in a way that’s often hard to replicate with long daily commutes. The pastoral systems were robust, the routines predictable, and the overall vibe surprisingly warm.

For some families, this setup offers a sense of breathing room—for both parents and children. It can create space for independence to flourish while still keeping strong family ties.

What We Learned

The biggest takeaway from this journey? There’s no singular “best” school—only the one that fits your child and your family dynamic. We found ourselves less focused on league tables and more drawn to schools where children felt seen, supported, and stretched in the right ways.

We saw value in every type of school we visited. Each offered something compelling: a tight-knit community, academic ambition, artistic freedom, structure, flexibility, or a sense of adventure. Choosing a school became less about what's best overall and more about what's best for us right now.

A Few Words of Advice

For parents facing the same decisions, here’s what helped us:

• Visit in person—and more than once if you can.

• Look beyond the prospectus—talk to staff and current families.

• Be honest about your child’s needs—not just academically, but emotionally and socially.

• Don’t rush—the right decision takes time to surface.

At Otters Home Search, we always say the right home is the one that supports your way of living. I’ve come to believe the same is true of schools. Whether it’s day or boarding, state or private—it’s about finding the place where your child can feel confident, connected, and ready to grow.